Whisper of Demise
by Solain Rhyo
Summary: Set fifteen years after Defiance - Reborn, one of the Guardians must search out both Kain and Raziel in order to ascertain her fate.
1. I

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* * *

_

_He himself slaughtered the Sarafan Lieutenants, and was his own murderer, and he thus became the catalyst not only of Kain's future empire, but of his own dark destiny._

* * *

_You will live._

I was thus torn, violently, mercilessly, from the endless void I had existed in. Coherent thought was impossible; I found myself in a place both alien and terrifying. For so long I had been aware only very vaguely of what I was, of who I had been. Drifting in that oblivion, that thankful place where I no longer could recall the life I had lived, or what had been done to me. I was a presence, nothing more, existing in harmony with the rest of all creation.

_You will breathe._

Is that what this torment was? This rending agony as air filled my lungs, as I struggled past spasms of muscles I didn't know I had to expel it, was this breathing? And this rhythmic thundering echoing so loudly throughout my body – was this my heart beating? Had I a heart at all? Harsh was the onslaught of sudden sensation that I had been so deprived of; the biting surface on which I lay, the sounds which roared throughout my ears. Confusion, horror, and panic were threatening to drown me – _what was this?_

And – as I opened my eyes for the first time in a millennia only to close them again against the searing light, another more desperate question surfaced in my mind.

_Who am I?_

I was gasping now, and with muscles that felt heavy and awkward I moved my body. I lay on my back, and for long moments I could do nothing but lie motionless, my mind in stupefied turmoil, adjusting to the strangeness I now found myself faced with. I am alive, I realized, and with that thought came the knowledge from somewhere hidden to me that I had been dead. This I knew as certain as I knew I had drawn breath, as certain as I knew my heart beat, and with a mouth that felt awkward and stiff I mouthed the question whose answer still eluded me, _"Who am I?"_

There was no answer forthcoming, as I knew there wouldn't be. Steeling myself I opened my eyes, prepared now for the brightness that had assailed me before, knowing it to be the sun. Squinting, I turned my head to the side and with great effort I forced myself upwards, until I was sitting. Alive, I thought again, dumbfounded. Through eyes which watered, as newly opened eyes were wont to do, I gazed at the hands – _my hands_ – which were clenched tightly upon my lap. So unfamiliar were the fingers, the spidery trace of blue veins underneath the pale skin, and experimentally I flexed them, watching the almost invisible play of muscle beneath flesh. Studying the rest of my body I found then that I was quite naked, without a shred of clothing, and that my skin was in its entirety soft and unblemished, like that of a newborn.

Suddenly there came a sound, a raw noise that I knew instinctively to be the cry of a bird. My attention was torn then from my newfound flesh to my surroundings. I had lain, it seemed, upon a thick carpet of long, lush grass. With fingers that trembled I reached out to comb through the blades, marveling at their color, at their texture. My gaze moved then to the emerald canopy of a forest bordering the field I currently inhabited some distance away. Following the line of the trees, I found myself gazing at some sort of structure; even from where I was, I could tell it had once been a sight of beauty, though it now lay in crumbling ruins.

And then, with a flash of memory so vivid it stilled my breath in my throat, I realized I knew this place.

_The Pillars of Nosgoth._

I began to move, driven by a sense of urgency, compelled by some unknown fear; very slowly and very awkwardly I rose to my feet. How heavy and cumbersome this body was! But I did not care, not now, for all that mattered was that I reach those ruins, for I knew - I _knew_ - that those remnants held some key to my existence, to my purpose. Clumsily I began to walk, one faltering step at a time, and I had not gone far before I was winded. I stopped frequently, to either regain my breath or because something hard and sharp had bruised the tender underside of my feet. The breeze, gentle and warm, served to cool my overheated flesh. When finally I reached the ruins I was sweating, weary, and on the verge of tears.

I halted then, at the threshold of the staircase which led to an enormous marble platform. Forming a half perimeter, rising from the platform were the remains of what I knew had once been nine majestic, towering pillars; now they were warped, and where they had been colored once a pristine white they had been darkened to a heartless grey.

_Nine pillars ... a Guardian for each ..._

Another piece of memory from the hidden wellspring within my mind. I began forward, walking carefully up the stairs, avoiding the occasional rock and jagged outthrust of stone. As I neared the Pillars, an image formed in my mind of what they had once been; so clear and vivid was this image that I found myself staring upwards, hoping to see them reaching for the sun. It was not so; they were crumbled and mere ghosts of the past.

_An ancient edifice ... a power that preserved and gave life to the land ..._

Shaking my head to dispel the whispers, I stepped close to the pillar in the center. Little was left of it, it rose only a few feet past my own height, but carved into the base was a myriad of writing. I was not perturbed to discover that I could understand this language, and with great curiosity I began to read. What this central Pillar had stood for, I discovered, was Balance. Crouching, I brushed dust from the next part of the script to learn that Balance had been protected by the Guardian Ariel.

_Ariel._

Abruptly I was assaulted by images, by recollections; sounds and voices of a thousand conversations reverberated through my head. Here I was, standing with nine others, _the Circle of Nine_ ... Here I was, murdered viciously, violently, by the Unspoken ...

And here I was, a spectre, doomed to haunt the Pillars for an eternity.

I found myself on my knees, tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks, unable to draw breath for the constricting intensity of all I'd remembered. I knew all of it, now; how I'd existed in torturous limbo, haunting this place and despairing I'd never be set free; how I'd set all my hopes on one young nobleman turned vampire, and how he'd damned me forever in order to save both himself and his race.

"Kain," I rasped, and the loathing I felt run through me turned my blood to fire. Still more recollections came: Raziel coming to me, asking me for my aid, and though I'd been wary of him to begin with I had come to realize he was honorable, and worthy. And then I remembered becoming one with Raziel's Reaver, giving myself to the wraith blade with the knowledge I would be freed from my prison, from this existence ...

And now here I was, alive and separate from the Soul Reaver.

The tide of memory and the tumultuous emotions that had come with it receded, leaving me shaken in its wake. No longer concerned with my identity, I had now to wonder about the reason for my rebirth, the reason for my release from the Reaver. But where to find these answers?

I stood again, wiping the wetness from my cheeks. Standing in the shadows of the ruins, bereft of the warmth of the sun, I felt a chill settle upon my naked flesh. Grimly, I stared at the crumbled Pillar that had once been my own, and knew there was one person who could tell me what I needed to know. Though I was uncertain how much time had passed since my sacrifice to purify Raziel's weapon, I was positive Kain was still alive. One such as he did not fade easily. Resolute now, I turned from the Pillars, and made my way slowly towards the forest. If memory served me correctly, some manner of civilization existed in that direction.

I did not look back.


	2. II

* * *

_You say that, while you hold in your hand the instrument of my doom? – Raziel_

* * *

My journey upon leaving the ruins was long and arduous. Stumbling at times, uncertain and uneasy, I began to realize the full extent of the situation I now found myself in. A lone woman wandering naked throughout the land was enough to invite certain danger, but what else was I to do? Though I had no way of knowing how much time had passed since I'd joined with the Reaver, the decay of the Pillars had indicated that I was once again in the time of Nosgoth under Kain's rule. Acutely aware of how utterly defenseless I was, I traveled in a state of heightened awareness, ready at any time to dart into the underbrush bordering the simple dirt road on which I now walked. The ruts in the road told me it was used often, and that heartened me, for the ruts were those made by a wagon.

Very soon I began to notice things. In the time of Kain's rule, Nosgoth was a barren wasteland; very little vegetation existed and any that did grew in the climes farthest from the Pillars. Yet I walked now on a road surrounded on both sides by thick, lush forest. The trees were tall and sturdy, indicating they were at least a decade old. This confused me, but I didn't dwell on it, because abruptly the forest tapered away and I found myself surrounded by gently sloping meadows. Where once the ground had been cracked and barren there was now patches of grass and wildflowers rising from dirt that had apparently become fertile since my passing. Coming to a halt, I stared at the land around in me in a state of bemused awe.

It appeared Nosgoth was beginning to heal itself. And while I was overjoyed for the sake of the land itself, I couldn't shake my growing sense of discontent. For this to happen – was Kain alive still? Or had he, like everything must eventually, finally succumbed to death?

Sounds apart from the soft rustle of the wind in the grass and the quiet calls of the birds in the trees startled me from my reverie, and quite without warning a large wagon drawn by a large draft horse lumbered into view from around the next corner. Too late I realized that I should have run, should have hid myself; unable to do either, I dumbly remained where I was. There were two people perched upon the buckboard of the wagon, a man and a woman, both elderly. At the sight of me the woman let out a cry and the man pulled sharply on the reins. The horse and wagon came to a shuddering halt.

"Are ye daft, woman?" The man shouted at me, one hand still clutching the long strips of leather, the other clenched into a fist and shaking in my direction.

"Hush, Tass." The woman scolded, her eyes still on me. "Can't ye see she's afraid?"

It was true; I was terrified. Clucking quietly to herself, the woman slid down from the buckboard with an ease that belied her frail appearance. With sure, nimble steps she approached me, and as she neared she cooed in a gentle tone, as if I were some wild animal about to take flight.

"What be ye doing out here, all alone, lass? And naked as the day you were born?" She asked me, pulling from her shoulders a large, thick black shawl and handing it to me. Hands trembling I took it and with some fumbling managed to secure it about myself, clasping it tightly in the front, hiding most of my body from sight. Not waiting for me to answer, the woman continued, "Lord, ye're shaking like a leaf. What be ye so afraid of?"

I stammered something incoherent, and for a long moment she studied me carefully with shrewd dark eyes. Abruptly, as if she'd made an instantaneous decision, she grasped me tightly by the elbow and led me towards the wagon.

"I'll not leave ye here, lass. This road be not safe for most after nightfall."

Relief flooded through me, and I followed her without objection. I was no longer alone in this alien yet familiar realm; I'd encountered someone kind, someone decent. It was heartening, and the tides of my fear began to slowly recede. Reaching the wagon, the woman hoisted herself up beside the man, and extending one hand assisted me in clumsily climbing aboard. Arranging myself awkwardly to sit on the floor boards behind the buckboard, I glanced up to see the man – Tass – fixing me with an irritated glare.

"Another stray!" He spat, and turned his glower to the woman, "Why must ye always be picking up strays, Cora?"

"Pay him no mind," Cora then said to me, completely ignoring him, "He's always a bit rough to begin with."

Tass made a noise somewhere between a growl and a snort, but without another word turned in his seat and flicked the reins. With a lurch, the wagon began to move again. Cora began assailing me with questions – _Who are you? Where are you from? What were you doing out here all alone, and without a shred of clothing to call your own?_ Mindful that I could not reveal absolute truth of my identity, I told her my name was Ariel, and that I awoke near the pillars, and that I could not remember how or why I came to be there. Apparently my answers satisfied her, for she began to coo again, and pulled the shawl tighter around me.

"Ye just relax, lass, and we'll take ye home. We'll get ye fixed up, we will, and get you some food. Get some meat on those bones." Still staring stonily at the road, Tass muttered something unintelligible, but his words were enough to merit him a slap upside the head from Cora. She turned again to me with a bright, gap toothed smile. "His bark is bigger than his bite. Give him time, lass, and he'll warm up to ye. Soft hearted, he is – that's why I married him."

Again Tass muttered something, but it was softer and with considerably less aggravation.

"There, ye see? Ye go ahead and rest yerself, lass, and we'll wake you when we get there."

I did not ask where we were going, nor did I care. I needed time to gather myself, to collect my bearings, before I could set out on my own in search of answers. By whatever kind fates had decided to aid me, I had encountered these two, and I was beyond grateful for their assistance. Cora had turned to face the road, and with a sigh I leaned my sore, aching body against the side of the wagon and closed my eyes. It had been so long since I'd been encased in mortal flesh; how strange and yet how exciting it was to be human again, to be alive again.

Tass and Cora were arguing softly, yet without heat. I felt my lips curve into what I realized was a smile. Soon after, lulled by the steady swaying of the wagon and the quiet voices, I fell swiftly asleep.

* * *

Cora was as good as her word. Upon awakening I realized the two had brought me to their home, a small farmstead that was, Tass told me bluntly, a day's journey south of the Pillars. It was pleasing to the eye; a rambling house perched on a small rise above a large field. To the left of the house was a haphazardly built pen in which several sheep and one cow stood staring our way. After helping me down from the wagon, Cora ushered me into the house, and a short time later she had me outfitted in a heavy brown woolen robe which fell to my feet and was belted in the middle by a simple thin rope. She apologized for the rough quality of the material, saying that it had belonged once to their son, but I was too thankful to care. After that she sat me down in their small kitchen, and as she bustled to and fro preparing a meal she spoke continuously. I was, she told me, obviously a girl of some stature, and having lost my memory was, of course, and indication that I had been badly mistreated somehow. Her eyes gleamed as she spoke; she enjoyed creating this mysterious past for me, and I, being amused, let her do so.

Dinner was a unique affair, in that it had been a millennia since last I'd eaten anything. After fumbling with the utensils, burning my mouth on a chunk of steaming meat, and spilling my glass of water all down my front, I was on the verge of tears. Tass stared at me incredulously before he continued eating; Cora merely smiled her encouragement. Slowly I resumed eating and found that food was, after all, quite enjoyable. The meat in the stew had been spiced with something rich and heady, and the vegetables that swam in a thick, creamy sauce were tender and succulent. By the time I finished my bowl, I felt full to bursting. Had food tasted this good when last I'd been alive? I could not remember, but this was a feast to top all feasts, and I told Cora so. Beaming, she cleared the table of the dishes, and Tass wandered out of the house.

I sat in the kitchen as Cora washed and cleaned, answering her questions absentmindedly, my thoughts on other, more prudent things. My eyes suddenly began to feel very heavy, and I could not stifle the yawns that attacked me. Noticing this, Cora ushered me from the kitchen to a small room in the back of the house. It had, she explained, also belonged to their son, who was long dead. Bidding me a good night, she turned to leave.

"Cora," I said then, "I ... there is a question I must ask you."

She turned, and smiled expectantly. "Yes, lass?"

"I remember ... there is a person I must find. A man named Kain."

Her brow wrinkled, bringing more dimension to her much lined face. "Kain ... sounds familiar, though I cannot place it. I'll ask Tass, my girl, he'll know a thing or two. He always does. Ye sleep now. It's been a long day for ye."

"Good night, Cora. And thank you."

She hurried over to me, and dropped a quick kiss upon my forehead. "It's nothing, lass, to help the less fortunate. Sleep well."

She left, closing the door behind her and leaving me in darkness but for the light of the dying sun which crept through the small window above the bed. I was too tired to think, to tired to try and plan what I might do in the days ahead; mere seconds after my head hit the pillow I was asleep.


	3. III

* * *

_... Kain chose the latter path – opting to rule the world in its damnation rather than commit himself to oblivion._

* * *

The next morning I awoke slowly, languidly stretching and wincing as my body, sore from the previous day's journey, protested the movement. Sudden light spilled through the window, coloring the bed in which I lay the deep red of dawn. I rose to my knees and turned to look out the thick glass, and the beauty of what lay beyond made the breath catch in my throat. Along the horizon spread the colors of the rising sun, bleeding outwards, tinting the entire world with their warmth. As I watched, the colors changed, deepening first before becoming lighter, and finally the sun broke free of its constraints to climb unfettered in the sky. Something cold and wet traced its way down my cheek; I raised my hand to feel and it came away glittering and moist. I was crying, but not for sorrow. Watching the birth of dawn had instilled within me a kind of quiet awe – it was hard to fathom that after all I had endured, after all I had been condemned to do, that I would find life again. And while this new life was terrifying and confusing, it was also something I cherished, something I realized I had once taken for granted.

I laid down again, curling up on my side, and began in earnest to plan what next I should do. I would question Tass and Cora and discover what year it was and how much time had passed since last I had existed. From there I would attempt to discern whether or not Kain existed, for I knew that he and only he held the answers to my rebirth. The very thought of the vampire filled me with a mixture of dread and hatred; I was loathe to encounter him again, but I had no other choice. Would he harm me? Quite possibly. But again, that was something I would have to deal with when the time came.

With new resolve I rose, and dressed myself in the robe Cora had gifted me with the previous day. Leaving the room I found my hosts in the kitchen, seated at the small table and eating their small breakfast. Tass nodded briefly in my direction upon my entrance; Cora smiled and pushed me gently into the empty chair before shoving a small bowl of porridge in front of me. I ate slowly, savoring the texture and the taste of the food, and when we all had finished I saw the opportunity to ask the questions that haunted me.

What information I received in answer was both heartening and not. Fifteen years had passed, Tass said quietly, since Nosgoth had first begun to show signs of change. There were only very small, very slight indications at first: the heavy fog, which perpetually cloaked the land closest to the Pillars, had begun to lift away; ground that was hard and barren suddenly produced random patches of plant life. And the most noted change, Tass added grimly, was that any and all traces of the vampires that had once dominated Nosgoth had quite suddenly vanished.

Vanished? I did not think so. Eradicated, most likely, by Raziel, and perhaps even Kain. Cora began to speak then, explaining how humans made tentative forays outside their borders, unable to believe their most hated and feared enemy had simply been erased from existence. They found nothing but abandoned strongholds, and in some cases the smoldering or impaled remains of one of the vampires. And so it was the humans once again began to occupy all of Nosgoth. As the years passed, the land became more and more fertile until once again it was possible to grow crops. Rivers and lakes, once polluted and putrid, were slowly purified. Small villages and towns appeared, sustained by the agriculture. Mankind, along with nature, was flourishing.

What Tass said next caught me by surprise. "Cora tells me ye're looking for Kain." His gaze, steady and shrewd, was unnerving.

"That's right," I replied.

"Kain was the name of the leader of those creatures."

I nodded, and waited with bated breath for him to continue. He knew something, but would he bestow upon me the knowledge?

"When they disappeared, so did he. All's the better for it, too. Don't ye go looking for trouble, girl."

Cora made a chiding noise, but Tass raised a hand and continued. "I can see plain on yer face that ye won't heed my warning, and that's yer business. Rumor had it that Kain met his end those fifteen years ago, and that's why this land began to grow again. Rumor also has it," here he paused, and his eyes were speculative, as if judging me, "that he still lives, far to the east, in the ruins of some ancient structure."

I was silent, furiously calculating what he'd told me and wondering which to believe. There was no question whether I would travel to these ruins to discern if Kain was alive; I simply had to know the answers that only he could give me. Tass sighed then, reading my expression, and Cora looked on in mild confusion.

"So be it," the old man muttered resignedly. "I'll make ye a map. Won't be the best, but it'll get ye were ye need to go. I don't need to tell ye how dangerous this journey will be, do I?"

"No," I replied quietly.

He nodded. "I thought as much. Wait two days, and then ye can leave. We'll send ye off well enough; wouldn't do to have ye going to yer death unprepared." He stood then, avoiding his wife's questioning gaze and leaving me alone with her.

"Ariel?" She said hesitantly.

It was my turn to sigh, then. "It's not easy to explain, Cora, my reasons for seeking out Kain. Truth be told ... I go in search of vengeance."

"But why, child?"

_For a millennia of damnation, _I wanted to say. _For all the years I spent as a spirit forced to haunt the place I once revered. For all my anguish and all my rage. For the destruction of Nosgoth to save one wretched soul. _Instead I forced a tight, bitter smile. "It is better that I do not speak of it. I will not draw you into my web of anger."

Her eyes, like that of her husband's, became disconcertingly perceptive. "Do ye go to yer death?"

Did I? "I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Come," she said suddenly, as if forgetting in that instant all that I had said. "Ye need a bath, girl. I'll draw ye some hot water."

I followed her obediently into the back of the dilapidated house, were a small room, big enough only for the iron tub it held and one occupant, was situated. I helped Cora bring in water from the outdoor well and heat it over the fireplace before taking it and filling the tub. When the water was mere inches from the rim she left me with a drying cloth and a bar of thick soap which smelled of lavender, and I set about doing something else I had not done for many, many lifetimes. The water was heaven, the warmth ridding my aching muscles of their pain. For a long time I languished, submerged; when finally the water began to go cold I washed myself and my hair with the soap. Cora had left another bucket of water beside the tub for rinsing, and once I had made use of it I stepped carefully out and dried myself with the cloth. Dressed once more in the robe, I turned to open the door and halted with a gasp.

Someone was standing before me. Moments passed before I realized the person was in fact myself, and that I was standing in front of a rather battered full length mirror attached to the door. Intrigued, I stepped closer. I had no recollection of what my appearance had been in my former life; such memories had long since left me. And so it was with acute curiosity that I studied the angular lines of my face, the thin ridge of my nose and the high, thin arch of my brows. My eyes, I realized, were a color somewhere between green and brown. I lifted my fingers to comb through my hair, a honey color that I had not noticed before which fell to hang in wet tangles well past my shoulders. Had I looked like this before? This face of mine, and this body – were they pleasing? My reflection scowled back at me, reminding me that I had more important things to ponder, and so I opened the door and left to find Cora.

* * *

The rest of my time with Tass and Cora I spent comfortably, reacquainting myself with all manners of mortal existence. At my request Cora found some books she'd owned as a child, and I discovered that I had not forgotten how to read. Cora instructed me on the basics of survival when on the road; how to prepare wild meat if one was fortunate enough to find it, and how to discern which plants and berries were safely edible. She also set about mending some of the clothing that had once belonged to her deceased son so that I may wear them. Tass, seeming to have accepted me somewhat marginally, took me aside several times to go over with me the rough map he'd drawn on a small piece of parchment. Thinking I was hard of hearing, perhaps, he repeatedly warned me how dangerous this undertaking of mine was, and at one point even asked me to stay with them a bit longer. I shook my head and smiled, explaining to him that I simply must find Kain. The old man shook his head, and told me to my face that I was crazy.

The dawn of the third morning found me outside their small house, dressed in the now familiar brown robe with its rope belt, and shouldering a small pack. On my feet were tall boots of laced up leather; underneath them I wore thick wool upon my feet. The breeches Cora had altered for me were tucked neatly inside the boots, and I wore a thin linen shirt as well. At my side, hanging somewhat awkwardly by it's sheath, was a long, thin knife which Tass had silently handed me at breakfast that morning. I had not the faintest clue how to use it, but it did make me feel a little bit safer.

"There's food enough for a few weeks in that there bag," Cora said. Her manner was subdued; she would be genuinely sad to see me go. I stepped up to her and enfolded her in my embrace, letting all my feelings of gratitude and affection flow through me. Moving back, my eyes moved to Tass.

"Ye've got that map?" He asked. I nodded, patting the small side pocket in my rope where the parchment was secured. He cleared his throat, and held out his hand. I took it with my own, and as our eyes met I saw shining within them something I thought never to see: respect.

"Gods be with ye, Ariel," Cora said as I turned to face the small dirt road which led away from their farm.

"And with you," I said, giving them both a smile. I felt my eyes prickle with sorrow and fear; here I was, leaving the one safe place I knew existed in this new and frightening world. It had to be done, I knew, and with one last final wave in their direction I began to walk. Once out of sight of their cottage I stopped, trying to calm myself, trying to convince myself everything would be alright.

I started to walk again. I could not dwell on all my doubts. And so it was I began my search for Kain.

* * *

Had it not been for Tass's map, I would have been hopelessly lost. As it was, I was able to make my way that first day to one of the small farming villages. I decided I would spend the night just outside the village limits, close enough to call for aid should I need it. Rummaging through the small pack Tass and Cora had provided for me, I found a pouch which jingled when I lifted it. Inside, I discovered an abundance of coins, and realized the old couple had given me most their savings. Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, and I smiled at their kindness.

Days passed. While I was in no way accustomed to journeying, I did not falter, as much as I may have wanted to. I ate mostly what I could find growing in the forests and fields on the side of the roads I walked upon, wanting to save the provisions in the pack as long as I could. I met many others as I traveled, and spoke with several. Never once did I disclose where I was headed, but merely exchanged pleasantries before going on my way once more. The repopulation of Nosgoth was such that there were towns and villages never more than a days travel apart, and I was fortunate in that aspect. I began to appreciate more and more the beauty of Nosgoth reborn, and though I could not recall what the land had looked like in my past life I was positive that parts of it must have been breathtaking. There was an abundance of rivers and streams that intersected the roads, and from the ones that were pristine and clear I refilled often my water skin – another gift from Tass and Cora. The weather, for the most part, was fair; warm days and cool nights, during which I bundled up in the bedroll that lay most of the time in the bottom of my pack.

Twelve days later, as I kept count, I realized I was approaching my destination. The sky had clouded over early that morning, and the clouds were low and ominous. The air smelt moist and rich, and I knew that at any time it would begin to rain. Tass's map indicated to me that I would encounter no more of civilization; that the ruins I was in search of were mere hours from the last town I'd visited. I'd come far since awakening at the Pillars; I was surrounded now by towering, snowcapped mountain peaks. The ruins, Tass had said, were rumored to be situated in the foothills, having once been a small castle for a noble family long since dead. The road, he'd told me, ran directly past it and through the mountains, but hardly any took this road, as it was said to be haunted.

I was full of trepidation, as I began my climb through the gently rolling hills, shadowed by the rocky giants behind them. The road was in poor shape here, rutted and in some parts obscured by grass. Driven by my anxiousness I set a steady pace, and when it began to rain I drew the hood of my robe up around my head and trudged on. I tried to be as silent as I could, and kept myself alert; if there was anywhere I had to beware bandits and the like, Tass had said, it would be here, where the road was less traveled. I encountered nothing, however, and as the sun passed its zenith I crested a hill to find myself facing what could only be my destination.

I could easily tell that it had once been an impressive citadel, albeit small. Only a single tower remained, the rest of it crumbled and fallen pieces of stone. Out of breath from my climb, I stared at it for a moment. The air was eerily silent here, as if nature herself feared to make a sound. It was not a good omen, I knew, and swallowed heavily. Part of me was screaming to turn tail and run back the way I'd come, back to the two elders who had shown me such kindness; the other part of me sternly advised that the only possible place to find the answers I'd needed was within those ruins. I squared my jaw, resolute, and began again to walk.

As I neared, I found myself nervously scouting the area before me, expecting some creature with glowing eyes to leap out. The closer I got to the ruins, the more acute my anxiety became. When finally I reached what had once been the main entrance to the citadel, my breath was coming in quick, panicked gasps. Two stone leviathans, once the guardians to the now absent double doors, glared down at me in their magnificence. Very quickly I hurried past them, into the ghost of the courtyard. What I found there stopped me dead in my tracks, and my lungs refused to take in air.

"You are a very brave little mortal."

Oh, how I remembered that ingratiating, condescending tone. Even the timbre of the voice, deep and almost guttural, invoked within me a chaotic mass of emotions. Kain was standing beside the remains of a stone fountain, arms crossed over his chest, the crimson of his insignia cape a stark contrast to the dullness of the rest of the surroundings. He'd known I was here, I suddenly realized, and had most likely sensed my presence long before I'd arrived.

"Well?" He asked, arching one brow. Obviously, he hadn't lost any of his previous arrogance. "Have you a reason for coming this far, in such weather?"

I couldn't answer, though I wanted to. Fear and hatred were warring inside me, and all I could do was stare at him mutely.

"Speak! You are tiring my patience."

"You have not humbled, Kain." I said finally, and was surprised at how even my voice sounded.

The vampire frowned. "And you would know this?"

My fear was fading, and was fast being replaced by my righteousness, by my desire for vengeance. "Very well, in fact."

"Indeed." He uncrossed his arms, and stepped towards me; I watched him approach, distracted by the animalistic grace with which he moved. "How could you know such a thing?"

I smiled, and it wasn't pleasant. He was now only a few feet away from me. My body was tensed, ready for flight, although I knew should it come to that it would be futile. "I've known you longer than most anyone."

"Indeed?" He repeated, but instead of bewildered irritation, I detected this time interest in his tone.

"Yes." I said, and backed a step.

He waited a moment to see what else I would say, and when I remained silent he spoke. "Very well. I shall play your little game. How exactly, human, do you know me? And how, pray tell, could you have possibly known me longer than anyone?"

"Can you not guess?" I asked. Rage made my voice stronger, louder. "Look closely, Kain! Though you did not murder me, you proved the instrument of my damnation! For a millennia I watched you, I hated you, caught in your game of time and chance –"

"Impossible!" He breathed, cutting me off. His eyes, an eerie amber color, widened. "_Ariel_!"

Had I the power, I would have struck him dead on the spot. All I could do, however, was remain still, trembling with the enormity of my loathing for this creature. He circled around me, gaze scrutinizing, as if attempting to prove I was other than what he thought I was.

"Alive!" He said, his path complete as he stopped again before me. "For how long?"

"Days."

"And how?"

"That," I said tightly, "is precisely why I am here. I do not know why I have been given life again, but I think perhaps you do."

His lips pursed, eyes never leaving mine, obviously going over thoughts in his head. My fists were tightly clenched against the urge to leap upon him and claw those unnerving eyes from his head. He was silent for so long that I began to fidget uncomfortably.

"I believe," he said finally, slowly, "that I can answer your question."

"Then do so."

"Not yet. Come with me, to the tower."

"No."

He made an exasperated sound. "I will not be your butcher, Ariel. If you hadn't noticed, I am rather amazed to see you standing here before me. The tower is warm, and you have been walking in the rain for quite some time. I offer you only hospitality."

I wanted to refuse, but what he offered sounded good. My robe, and the clothes beneath, were soaked through, sticking uncomfortably to my body and giving me chills. The answers I sought he would give me if I were to follow ... I nodded my head once, curtly, and a small smile creased his inhuman face. "Very well. Follow me."

He turned, and after a hesitant moment I hastened after him. Looming above us, like a skeletal hand clawing at the sky, was the tower. Such an ominous place, I thought, and smiled grimly at the irony of the situation.

I would enter this place, the domain of the one I hated most. Gods willing, it was here I would find the explanation for my rebirth.


	4. IV

* * *

_... Kain discovered, within his darkened soul, a growing disaffection for humankind as he embraced his newfound immortality._

* * *

The tower interior, I soon discovered, was nothing like its exterior had hinted it would be. After climbing a steep, winding staircase for several exhausting minutes, we arrived at a landing and an enormous wooden door. Casting me an inscrutable glance, Kain pushed it open with one clawed hand, and gestured for me to precede him. For a moment I hesitated, unwilling to show my back to one I perceived as enemy; a flicker of amusement shone then in his eyes, and gritting my teeth I stepped quickly over the threshold. Once inside, I pivoted on the spot to take in my surroundings.

The chamber was handsomely decorated. The floor beneath my feet was black and lushly carpeted. At the far end of the room, opposite of where I stood, a massive ornate marble fireplace was set into the stone of the wall. Stairs spiraled up to a second level, where I could see bookcase upon bookcase of dusty tomes on display. Upon the walls hung a myriad of tapestries; elegant, beautiful, and quite obviously ancient. The main floor was littered with furniture; a high backed chair of mahogany wood with scrolled arms and legs; a chaise of wrought iron cushioned in silk. Kain stepped past me and strode to the fireplace, where he merely had to point a finger at the logs settled within the fireplace to create a roaring flame. I jumped, startled; I had forgotten, it seemed, the extent of Kain's powers.

The vampire turned to me again, and with a sweeping gesture said to me, "Do sit down. I imagine you are weary, after your travels."

I chose a stuffed chair close to the fire, for I was now quite thoroughly chilled. Incredulous, it seemed, to hear the legendary Kain indulge in pleasantries. I was becoming increasingly aware that the vampire I had once known had irrevocably changed somehow.

"How do you find it?" He asked me suddenly. Prompted by my blank stare, he continued, "Life. Being alive once again – how do you find it?"

It took me a while to formulate an answer. "It is ... exceedingly strange. Frightening, at times. And frustrating."

"And exhilarating?"

I glanced at him sharply. "It could be, I suppose. I have not yet had the privilege of experiencing it as such."

"No, I imagine you have not." He turned then, and with his silent, predatory tread made his way to the high backed chair situated a few feet from my own. He settled himself snugly before turning his intense gaze to me. "How did it happen, then? How were you born again to this world?"

"I simply awoke, as if in a deep slumber."

"Where were you?"

The corner of my mouth curled up in a small, bitter smile. "In the glade where the Pillars once stood." _My home for the last millennia, all because of you, _I added silently.

"Ah." His eyes moved away, focused on the flickering fingers of fire that crackled in the stillness around us. "And did you remember ... everything?"

"No."

He blinked, and looked again to me. "No?"

"I knew nothing. I knew not my name, nor where I was. I knew, however, that I had been dead. And that the Pillars where somehow familiar to me."

"So you went there, to the Pillars."

"Yes."

"And what you found there gave you back your memories."

"Yes." _Even those I did not want back._

"Fascinating."

"Is it?" I asked somewhat harshly. "To you, I suppose. But I did not want this life, and it seems there is little I can do but accept it."

"Did not want life?" Incredulity was foremost in his tone. "I cannot believe that anyone given a second chance such as this would rather cast it back at whatever powers had bestowed it upon them."

"You forget, Kain, exactly in what manner I existed for the millennia prior to my final rest." I could not keep the scathing bitterness from my tone, nor did I wish to.

"Ah," he said again, and his clawed hands curled over the arms of his chair. "And there we have it. Even before I came to recognize you today, there was something simmering just beneath your surface, strong enough to be felt. Rage, and hatred, and no small amount of sorrow, I imagine ... and all of it directed towards me."

Shaken that he'd read me so easily, I mutely and steadfastly stared into the fire. He went on, "I do not begrudge you those, Ariel. But, I must ask you – have you come all this way only for answers, or had you some hopes at vengeance as well?"

"Hopes, yes," I replied fiercely. "I wish for no more than for you to endure what torture I had endured. I wish for you to hate me the way I've hated you for centuries. Mostly I wish you dead, but I have not the power to grant myself that wish, nor am I likely ever to. And so I must settle for answers, and continue to hope."

He began to laugh then, the sound rich and echoing. "How brutally honest!" His laughter died abruptly, and he leaned forwards in his chair. I could not drag my eyes away from his own, so intense in their regard that inwardly I shrank away. "Would it make any difference, Ariel, to know that I have learned in this last decade the pain of regret?"

"Have you?" I wondered in blatant disbelief.

He nodded, leaning back again. "Oh yes. And ... I hate it, but I cannot lose it. Part of Raziel's gift, I suppose." He added, and the irony in his tone was thick enough to taste.

I opened my mouth to ask, _Raziel's gift? _Kain was still speaking, and so I remained silent. "You see ... I regret many, many things. What I had done to you weighs heavily upon my conscience. But, I wonder, does that change your regard for me?"

I thought about it for long moments. "No." I finally whispered.

He nodded again. "I thought not. As I said before, I do not begrudge you those feelings. However – I do not intend you harm. Like your anger, your fear of me was also quite apparent. I swear to you there is nothing to be afraid of."

How I wanted to disbelieve him! But his tone was earnest, solemn, which was something I'd never thought to hear from him. Seeing my acceptance on my face, he smiled. "Good. Now – on to what you came in search of. Your answers."

I was silent. He rose then, and began to walk a path before me in slow, measured steps. "Fifteen years have passed, since my return to this time, this age, armed still with the Soul Reaver. However, it had changed remarkably. After you merged with Raziel's Reaver, Raziel himself discovered that the fate he had been so desperately trying to escape was inevitable, as he'd feared. However ... it was not quite the destiny he thought it to be. By a case of mistaken identity I impaled him upon _my_ Reaver, and he began to disappear within the blade. Before he was gone, however, he told me that it was meant to be this way, that this was what he was meant for: to be my weapon, to be, as before, my right hand. And so, with Raziel within my Reaver, I was able to see the true enemy – the Elder God. But that," here he paused, casting me another inscrutable glance, "I suspect you already knew."

I did not reply. I had known all along the role the Elder God played.

"In addition to my newfound sight which the new Reaver granted me with, I gained new abilities. One of those, as I mentioned, was being able to feel remorse for all the crimes I've committed. I can sense now, to a great extent, what any creature feels. And perhaps the most important thing I've gained is insight ... but I shall speak more on that later."

He had stopped his pacing, and was staring again into the flames. "Time weighs heavily upon me, more so now than ever it did before. It affects my mind, affects my thinking. I no longer know my destiny or my fate, and in frustration for my lack of vision I did something desperate. Fifteen days I ago I cast the Soul Reaver into what remains of the Lake of the Dead, hoping the Abyss would destroy the accursed blade and free me from whatever intricate webs are woven around it."

"And there, Ariel, is the how of your new existence. I must admit, I thought the Reaver to be impervious, and so when I cast it into those roiling, swirling depths I thought no harm would come to it. When the blade struck the water, however ... there was an explosion of mass proportions. The sword shattered, and escaping from it I saw hundreds of souls, soon pulled down into the depths of the water. I do not think that that is all that escaped from the sword. I think you were set free from its confines, and I think that is why you are here in front of me now, a living, breathing entity."

"But why ...?" I whispered.

He shook his head. "That I cannot tell you. I only know the how of it. And now ... there is something else you must know. Something I must show you."

Curious, I stared after him, twisting around in my chair, as he strode back to the door through which we had entered. He swung it open easily and stepped aside, as if inviting me to peer through. I could see nothing but a silhouette standing just outside the light of this chamber, but as the figure moved into vision I could not help the audible gasp that escaped me.

_Raziel._

No longer was he a ruined, wraithlike mockery of what once he had been. Whole again, he had regained his former glory; he was unmistakably vampiric. Despite this, he still shrouded himself still with the insignia cape of his clan, wrapping it about his face and neck. He was clad otherwise in black, some of it armor. I could see, as he stepped forward with a silent, stealthy tread similar to that of Kain's, that his body had not been entirely restored. Fluttering slightly in the wind of his passage, hanging from his shoulder blades, were the tattered remnants of his wings. As he entered the room Kain gently shut the door behind him, trapping me effectively; the mortal and the two immortals.

"Raziel," Kain said, gesturing my way, "Meet one who was reborn much the way you were."

Raziel's eyes, above the mask of his cape, narrowed. He studied me a moment, and I realized he had no idea who I was. How could he, when he had only seen me as a tortured and bloody specter? He moved his gaze to Kain's, questioningly. "Unfamiliar?" Kain asked, and I detected within his tone a hint of amusement. He was enjoying making Raziel play this little guessing game.

"Who is she?" Raziel asked. How very well I remembered his voice, too; it was soft, yet always it carried beneath it a tone of superiority and easy arrogance; the tone of one used to being obeyed.

I began to speak, to tell him my identity, but Kain held up one clawed hand to stall me. "Come Raziel! She gave you guidance when you needed it, often enough –"

"_Ariel_." Raziel whispered abruptly.

"Raziel," I said, my words just as quiet. "I did not think to be seeing you again."


End file.
